GODLY TRAINING FOR WOMEN

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."  

Titus 2:3-5

In Titus 2:1, the apostle Paul starts out by instructing Titus, "But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine."   Then he continues instructing older women about their behavior.  They were to be reverent in their behavior in the house of God (1 Timothy 3:15).  Why is our behavior so important?  Because it reflects what is inside our hearts.  Godly behavior is developed as we grow and mature in the Word of God.  It will take some time to show and bear fruit.  Let us think about what the Lord wants women to do.


I.   REVERENT IN BEHAVIOR:

• What is Reverent in Behavior?

It is the kind of behavior that is holy and shows great respect toward God, toward one's self, and to others as well.  A woman who is reverent in her behavior is devout, submissive, faithful, godfearing, pure, worshipful, holy, righteous, and virtuous.  To be reverent in behavior is to be set apart for devoted and sacred service to God (2 Cor. 6:17).

God is holy and demands that we be holy, and reverent in our behavior.  It is a command, not a suggestion (2 Peter 1:3-16; 3:5-6; Eph. 1:4; 5:27; 2 Cor. 7:1). We must be holy because it is our reasonable service to God (Rom. 12:1-2).  We are commanded to perfect holiness in the fear of God (2 Cor. 7:1).  So we must put off the old man of sin to put on the new man, renewed in the spirit of our minds, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness (Eph. 4:17-24).  All Christians must be holy, for they are the elect of God and the temple of God (Col. 3:12-17; 2:6-11-18).

The Word of God commands us to behave wisely as children of God (1 Sam. 18:5, 14, 15, 30, Psa. 101:2). God demands that we change our behavior.  He wants our conduct to be blameless and righteous (1Tim. 3:2).  Thus we must stop behaving disorderly and idly.  We must learn to be reverent in our behavior toward others (parents, grandparents, husbands, in-laws, children, brothers, and sisters in Christ, etc.).  We must be reverent in our behavior daily.  Reverent everywhere.  Reverent in behavior about the things we hear and see.  Reverent in the way we dress and talk (1 Tim. 2:9-10).  God demands that we pursue holiness and become holy women, reverent in our behavior, perfecting our holiness in the fear of God.

So, older women must work hard at meeting all these good qualities.  Why?  Because God has commanded older women to set a good and godly example for younger women.  And though our younger women are not instructed in our context, they too can set a godly example for others to see in this area of reverence.  Mothers, you must be sure you are teaching your children to be reverent in their behavior toward God and others.  We must pray to God to help us grow in our sacred character so that we can perfect holiness in our lives.  To accomplish this, we must put on the new man in true righteousness and holiness to be presented holy and without blemish.


II.   NOT SLANDERERS:

God, through Paul, commands older women not to be slanderers (Titus 2:3).  This command is near the top of the list.  The first command given to older women begins with behavior or conduct.  The second command turns to speech.  Isn't it interesting that both commands reflect what is in our hearts!  

"For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."   (Matt. 12:34)

• So What is Slander?

It is indeed a sin of the tongue.  It is defined as finding fault with others' demeanor and conduct, spreading innuendo and criticism everywhere, especially in the church.  The King James version uses the term "false accusers."  Other definitions of slander include a false statement, damaging, malicious, untrue, talebearer, and vicious.

The Word of God says that slander is not only spoken, but it is heard (Psa. 31:13).  God hates the wicked in heart who slander their own brother, for their mouth is full of evil, deceit, hatred, and false accusations (Psalm 50:16-20).  Because they spread slander, God calls them fools (Prov. 10:18).  As women who profess godliness, we must refuse to spread slander and walk with slanderers because God will judge us if we don't repent of this evil attitude of the heart.  So, we must strive to keep things to ourselves and not repeat them even if they are true.

• What Other Sins of the Tongue we Must Avoid?

• Foolish Talking:  It is idle talk, for it is the talk of fools.  We must avoid foolish talking and coarse jesting among us.  Coarse jesting is rough, vulgar, indecent.  In Ephesians 5:3, Paul says, "let it not even be named among you."  Thus, we must be cautious that we do not turn aside to idle talk.  Paul told Timothy to silence the mouths of idle talkers and deceivers (1 Tim. 1:10-11).  
• Backbiting, talebearing, tattling, and whispering"  They are sins of the tongue that we must avoid and repent of that we might not fall under God's judgment.  We must walk uprightly and work righteousness.
• Evil speaking, cursing, swearing, taking the Lord's name in vain:  They are also sins of the tongue.  We must not speak ill or evil of anyone.  We must not swear by heaven or earth or by anything else, for we will be condemned (James 5:12).  
• Lying:  God hates a lying tongue, but He blesses the righteous person who trusts in Him (Psalm 40:4).  The righteous of God abhor falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace (Prov. 13:5).  "A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness breathes out lies" (Prov. 14:5).

• What Are the Consequences of Slander And the Other Sins of the Tongue?

Slanderers, liars, and those who sin with their tongue will be destroyed.  They will have to give an account to God on the last day.  They shall have their part in the lake that burns with fire (Matt. 12:35; Rev. 21:8, 27 and 22:14-15).  Thus, we must keep ourselves from slander and the other sins of the tongue.  The Word of God is crystal clear about our speech.  Older women are commanded to set the proper example of godly speech before the younger women, our children, and others as well (Col. 4:6).

III.   SLAVES TO MUCH WINE:

Paul commands the older women in Titus 2:3 to not "be slaves to much wine."  Other translations use the word "given," which means "enslaved."  Paul uses the phrase "to much wine" to stress what she must not be given to.  The word "much" is an infinitive adjective that gives indefinite information.  The word "much" does not mean that she can have a little.  She must not be enslaved to much wine.  So what does it mean to be enslaved or given to much wine?  

In the Old Testament in Leviticus 10:8-11, Aaron and his sons were commanded not to drink wine or intoxicating drink.  They would die if they drank wine or intoxicating drink.  They were considered unclean and unholy.  In 1 Timothy 3:1-7, the elders are commanded not to be given or enslaved to wine.  This is one of the qualifications of elders.  The elders need these qualities to "hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it"  (Titus 1:5-9).  Deacons were required not to be slaves to much wine also (1 Tim. 3:8-13).  Why?  Because "those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus" (verse 13).

Now older women are commanded not to be slaves or given to much wine (Titus 2:3).  Why?  Because they must "train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled"  (verses 4-5).  Christians must not walk in drunkenness, nor be drunk with wine.  Period!  We are commanded to walk properly as in the daytime, not in drunkenness, but be filled with the Spirit (Romans 13:13-14; Eph. 5:18).

The Bible is crystal clear about the warnings and consequences of drinking wine and intoxicating drink (Psalm 78:65; 107:27; Prov. 20:1; 21:17; 23:21, 29-35; Jer. 25:16, 27; Hosea 4:11).  Thus we must not keep company with drunkards (Prov. 23:20; 1 Cor. 5:11).  Drunkards will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9-11).

"For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry"  (1 Peter 4:3). 

Do you suppose older women can do the things commanded in Titus 2:3-5 if they are slaves or given to much wine?  NO!  They must be an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity to the believers (1 Tim. 4:12).  We must not drink, for we must teach our children and our younger women as well not to drink.  We must refuse to be enslaved to anything that is against the will of God.

IV.   TEACH WHAT IS GOOD:  

Older women are commanded to "teach what is good."  A teacher must know, understand, instruct orally, train, direct, and proclaim.  A good teacher, according to God's will is not just a teacher, but a teacher of good things.  Sadly, many women and men fail to be good teachers because of their limitations.

"For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, 13 for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. 14 But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil."  (Heb. 5:12)

Older women must be mature in the Word of God so they can teach good things.  God commands us to be teachers of good things.  So what are the qualifications of teachers of good things?

1.  A teacher must be taught through the Word of God and share all good things with those he/she is teaching (Gal. 6:6).
2. A teacher must be a faithful steward (1 Cor. 4:2).
3. A teacher must be able to teach others without being quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil (2 Tim. 2:2, 24).  It is the true trademark of a faithful servant of God.
4. A teacher must take heed and keep his/her soul diligently (Deut. 4:9).  
5. A teacher must diligently teach (Deut. 6:7-9).
6. A teacher must be wise with his/her mouth to teach instruction, understanding, and the will of God (Prov. 16:23; 22:17; Eph. 5:17).
7. A teacher must use his/her tongue to be understood.  The speech must be easily understood, adorn with wisdom and knowledge, for he/she must teach God's Word and His righteousness (Psa. 119:172; 1 Cor. 14:9; Prov. 15:2, 7).
8. A teacher must speak the oracles of God, not the teachings or commands of men (1 Peter  4:11; Matt. 15:7-9).
9. A teacher must be an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity (1 Tim. 4:12).
10. A teacher must have knowledge of the Word of God by examining the Scriptures daily with eagerness (2 Pet. 1:5).
11. A teacher must be ready to defend the Gospel to anyone who asks for a reason for our hope that is in us (1 Pet. 3:15).
12. A teacher must acknowledge that he/she will receive a stricter judgment, for many souls are at stake and can be harmed by what we teach.  Thus we must be careful that everything we teach is according to the will of God (James 3:1).

• Can a Woman Teach?  Whom Can She Teach?

Although we women have limitations as ordained by God, we can still teach as long as we don't exercise authority over a man.  We must teach with a gentle and quiet spirit as women who profess godliness.  She is not authorized to teach in the assembly.  But she can teach her children, grandchildren, the lost and those who have fallen away.

1.  A woman is not allowed to teach in the assembly or during worship, but she can teach her children (Eph. 6:4; 1 Tim. 5:14; 2 Tim. 1:5).  
2. She can teach other women (Titus 2:3-5).  
3. She can even teach her husband (1 Cor. 7:14-16; 1 Peter 3:1-3).  
4. She can teach everybody within the restrictions established in 1 Timothy 2:11-12).  
5. She can teach the Gospel to the lost (Acts 8:4).  
6. She can be like Priscilla and her husband, who taught Apollos without violating the command given in 1 Timothy 2:12.  
7. She can defend her faith, the Gospel, her hope to anyone (Phil. 1:27).   All faithful men, women, must be taught, that they may teach others also.   

“But sanctify in your hearts Christ as Lord: being ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is in you, yet with meekness and fear”  (1 Peter 3:15).

This passage does not apply only to men (males) but also to women, for each must give a defense to every man of their hope with meekness and fear.  

“For when by reason of the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need again that someone teach you the rudiments of the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of solid food”  (Hebrews 5:12).

Our text includes women also.

“Beloved, while I was giving all diligence to write unto you of our common salvation, I was constrained to write unto you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the which was once for all delivered unto the saints”  (Jude 3).

This passage also includes women as well.

Priscilla and her husband taught a man named Apollos.  A woman can teach as long as she is under subjection without taking authority over a man.  Again, although the word “silence” means “quietness” and "submissiveness," it does not refer to not speaking at all.  A woman is not to be in authority but in submission, whether she is learning or teaching.  From the very beginning, these admonitions have been established (verses 13-14).  The Old Testament Law taught this as ordained by God, and no one is authorized to change this principle.  Again, our text, 1 Timothy 2:12-14, does not forbid a woman to speak in any assembly or any Bible class, for she is admonished to sing songs of praise, confess Christ, and her sins.  But she is commanded to speak in a submissive, non-dominant way, taking a leading role in teaching or authority.

Older women are commanded to teach younger women in Titus 2:4.  She can also teach like Priscilla, according to Acts 18:26.  If it was out of an assembly, it was obviously a Bible class!  Wherever there is a student and a lesson in progress, there is always a class, call it whatever you will!  In the New Testament, a woman can teach as long as she respects the restrictions given in 1 Timothy 2:11-12, without exercising dominion over a man.  Teaching over a man implies usurpation of authority and power.   But she may Scripturally teach as long as she is not usurping the authority.  Consider the following.

1. All women are commanded to teach their children.  Timothy was taught the Scriptures by his mother and grandmother, 2 Timothy 1:5; 3:14-15.  
2. All Christians, women, and men are commanded to teach the Gospel to all men, Acts 8:4.  Priscilla and Aquilas taught Apollos, Acts 18:26.  
3. In 2 Timothy 2:2, we read, “And the things which thou hast heard from me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.”  Here the word “men” (anthropos) is generic and means “persons.”  So it includes both men and women.  All faithful men and women must be taught that they may teach others also.  
4. In 1 Peter 3:15, “but sanctify in your hearts Christ as Lord: being ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is in you, yet with meekness and fear.”  This passage does not address only men (males) but also women, for each must give a defense to every man of their hope with meekness and fear.  
5. Hebrews 5:12, “For when by reason of the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need again that some one teach you the rudiments of the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of solid food.”  Our text includes women also.  
6. Jude 3, “Beloved, while I was giving all diligence to write unto you of our common salvation, I was constrained to write unto you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered unto the saints.”  This passage also includes women.  
7. Women must sing songs of praise, Ephesians 5:19; Col. 3:16.  When she is singing, she is not silent.  When she is singing, she is also exhorting or teaching according to Col. 3:16.  Is she in absolute silence when she is singing?  What do you think?  Can she teach when she is singing?  Of course!  And though she is not allowed to lead in singing, for she would be exercising authority over men, she still can teach and exhort as she sings and is submissive.  
8. A woman can speak, write articles in a blog or a wall in Facebook, express her faith to encourage others to be more faithful according to 1 Peter 3:15 as long as she is not violating or usurping the authority of men as ordained by our Lord in 1 Timothy 2:13-14.  She must do it with a submissive spirit. Timothy 2:13-14, “For Adam was first formed, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not beguiled, but the woman being beguiled hath fallen into transgression.”  Here Paul is pointing out two things to show the need for a woman’s subjection.  A woman must not exercise any authority over a man in the church or any other place.  

• She Must be a Teacher of Good Things:

God is good and faithful to those who are pure in heart. Since God is good and has done so much for us, we must be imitators of Him.  So we must teach about God's goodness and what He has done for us.  Jesus, the Son, is also good.  He is our good Shepherd (John 10:11, 14).  The Gospel tells us all about Jesus' life and ministry and all that He did to redeem us.  Thus we must be teaching others about His death, burial, resurrection, and ascension.  

We must be teaching those things the Bible calls good to others.  Consider some of those good things we can teach:

1. We can teach about the Parable of the Sower, where Jesus is the One who sows the good seed, the Son of Man.  The field in this parable is the world.  The good seed is the sons of the kingdom.  The weeds are the sons of the evil one and the enemy (Matt. 13:8, 37).
2. We can teach about Jesus' love, Grace, our good hope and eternal life, and the works that we must be doing to be with Him in His kingdom (2 Thes. 2:16).
3. We can teach that everything that God created is good (1Tim. 4:4).
4. We can teach as good and faithful servants of Jesus about faith, doctrine, and His precepts (1Tim. 4:6; Prov. 4:2).  
5. We can teach about fighting the good fight of our faith and taking hold of our eternal life (1 Tim. 6:12; 2 Tim. 4:7).
6. We can teach about seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness and storing up good treasures so that we may take hold of that which is truly life (1 Tim. 6:19).
7. We can teach about the goodness of the Word of God to restore and bring men to repentance (Heb. 6:5).  
8. The list of teaching good things is long.

Older women must fulfill the instruction given to them about being teachers of good things.  They must be getting busy about what is involved in this charge.  They must be busy in training, instructing and directing the younger women so that one day they may be teachers of good things.

V.   TRAIN THE YOUNG WOMEN:

In Titus 2:3-5,  Paul instructs older women to train younger women.  To admonish is to put in mind, and it is different from teaching.  Why?  Because teaching reveals the truth while admonishing or training reveals or exposes those things that are wrong, thus requiring a warning.  In 1 Samuel 2:24, Eli was teaching his sons, saying, "no."  In 1 Samuel 3:13, the Word of God says, "he did not restrain them."  You see, Eli's biggest problem is that he did not train or admonish his sons.  Other translations use terms such as exhort, admonish, warn, chasten, rebuke, and encourage.  So what is the purpose of training or admonishing?  The goal is to encourage and strengthen us, Christians (Acts 15:32).

The Old Testament was written for our admonition for instruction, for example, training, warning, encouragement, etc. (1 Cor. 10:1-13).  The purpose of admonition is to cause others to stand

in fear (1 Tim. 5:20).  It will also cause the Truth to be known that others may repent and escape the snares of the devil (2 Tim. 2:24-26).  It makes God's children complete and thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Tim. 16-17).  It will compel us to be sound in doctrine, in the faith (Titus 1:10-16).  It will yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness (Heb. 12:11).

The Word of God is profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, and for training in righteousness.  God chastens and corrects us.  The Lord's servant must correct those in opposition.  Older women must admonish, correct the younger women (Psalm 19:7-11; 2 Tim. 3:16-17; Prov. 3:11; 2 Tim. 2:24-26; Titus 2:3-50).  The Bible has much to say about this command.  God commands older women to admonish, train, correct, rebuke, etc. the younger women to save them from sin and its consequences.


VI.   LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS:

So far, we have been discussing those things concerning older women.  Now, our focus will be on what older women must be teaching and admonishing the younger women.  According to Titus 2:3, loving our husbands is something that must be taught.  It is not automatic, and that will always be there.  Loving our husbands is something that we must work at and develop.  It is not a suggestion but a command.  To love our husbands the way God intends, we must first love God with all of our soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30).  "We love Him because He first loved us"  (1 John 4:19).  Love is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22).  Love can mean a lot of different things to many people.

To help us better understand how to love our husbands, we must know what God's Law says about marriage.  God's Law and purpose in marriage is to honor it among all.  We honor our marriage by not defiling it because of sexual immorality and adultery (Heb. 13:4).  God's purpose for us women in marriage is to be our husband's suitable helper.  A woman must have her own husband, and a man must have his own wife.

"A  husband should give to is wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.  For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.  Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time...  so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control"  (1 Cor. 7:2-5).  

The purpose of marriage primarily is to have children also (Gen. 1:28).

God's laws on marriage are for the marriage commitment to be for life until death except for sexual immorality (Rom. 7:1-3; 1 Cor. 7:39).  It is God's intention from the beginning (Matt. 19:8; Mk. 10:4-9).  His design for marriage is simple, one man and one woman together for life.  

Today, marriage vows have no value anymore and are commonly ignored by couples who seem to care little about marital commitment and God's divine design for the home.  Such a design must be based on love.  Unfortunately, our upside-down culture has developed a careless and flippant or irreverent attitude toward marriage and divorce.  Instead of couples working out their differences and problems, they often give up on their marriage.  The consequences are devastating for the home. God's divine design for marriage is one man, and one woman married for life.  Sadly, our society and culture have ignored and keeps ignoring God's laws on marriage and divorce.

• Unconditional Love In Marriage:

• What is love?  

For most people, love is subjective and is based on personal feelings and experiences.  It is impossible to define such love objectively.  Indeed, it is much easier to describe love than to define it.  But the most inclusive definition is found in the Word of God.

"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love"   (1 John 4:8). 

Although most people would agree that love is the fundamental basis for marriage, emotion is usually what drives a couple to get married.  The problem is that when love is only emotional, it will diminish or lessen within a very short time.  As a result, their marriage is in jeopardy.  I don't deny that emotion is vital between a husband and a wife who love each other. Still, the only love that will sustain the marriage relationship must be based on more than mere emotion.  Unconditional love, commitment is vital for a marriage to endure the wiles of Satan.  The type of love in Paul's treatise of love in 1 Cor. 13:1-3 is "agape love."  It is often described as the most excellent form of love in the New Testament Greek language.  You see, "agape love" is not based on emotions or physical attraction.  It is a devoted, willful, and committed love that one person extends to another person he chooses to love.   He extends that love even when he is not loved in return.  He is determined to love even when that other person is not worthy of his love.  He loves that person even when that person is unlovable.  He is practicing agape love.

In an upside-down culture, this kind of love sounds rather strange.  Everyone wants to get something in return for their investment (money, time, emotion, etc.).  Often, I hear that marriage is a 50-50 proposition, and each spouse is required to meet the other one-half way.  With this kind of mindset, there are a lot of problems in the marriage relationship.  Marriage is not a 50-50 relationship!!  For a marriage to work the way God has designed it (to be rich and fulfilling and rewarded by God), there must be a 100% commitment from both husband and wife to the marriage relationship.  There will be times when the marriage relationship is put under extra strain. Here is where "agape love" must come into play.  

1. Agape love will sustain the marriage relationship in the face of trial.  
2. Agape love kicks in when the other spouse is unlovable.  
3. Agape love refuses to give up on marriage when the world shouts, "Walk away, get a divorce!"  
4. Agape love continues to love unconditionally!!  
5. Agape love prevails.  
6. Agape love, unconditional love, overcomes evil with good (Rom. 12:21).

God is crystal clear about the marriage relationship and the proper love that must exist within it.  God commands wives to make their marriage joyful with their husbands all the days of their life.  We must apply the golden rule in our marriage.  In the marriage relationship, each spouse must treat each other with respect, honor, and love.  The way they want each other to do to them.

All men and women should be like Adam and Eve:  lifelong companions.  God has always been very serious about this.  Since God joined them, they were to remain that way until death (Rom. 7:2-3).  God, through the prophets, spoke against divorce (Mal. 2:16).  Jesus likewise spoke on the permanence of marriage and the seriousness of divorce (Matt. 13:3-9).  He made only one rule for both husband and wife.  He said "whoever" and "whosoever" of both the man and the woman in respective places.  This clearly refutes the position that the law of marriage and divorce was only given to Christians.  He gave only one exception, sexual infidelity.  If the married couple divorce for any other cause, and marry again, the new union will not be holy matrimony, but adultery.

VII.   LOVE THEIR CHILDREN:

Although we might think loving our children is natural to do, in Titus 2:4, Paul commands older women to admonish the younger women to love their children.  Loving our children is something that must be taught and learned.  It is not a suggestion. It is a command!  We must work at it diligently and develop that love.  We must learn to love our children, for they are God's gift to us.  We must learn and understand God's gift to us, our children, to fulfill the command to love them.  God wants us to love children and view them as His precious blessings to us.  God's blessing in marriage is the blessing of children.  Conception is the result of God's blessing in our lives ( (Gen. 1:28; 9:1, 2, 7; 17:15-17; 17:20; 22:17-18; 24:60; 28:1-3; 30:13; 48:3-4; 49:25; Lev. 26:3, 9; Deut. 7:12-16; 13:17; 28:1-10; 33:24; 28:63; 30:5; 1 Chronicles 26:4-5; Job 42:12-15; Psalm 107:38; 115:12-15; 127:3-5; 128; Isaiah 51:2; Jeremiah 30:19; Luke 1:28, 31).  God blesses the marriage union with children, for He wants godly offspring.

God has put us, parents, in charge of our home, and we must lead appropriately according to the will of God.   Our lives must be ordered and determined by God's kingdom and God's righteousness if we indeed are faithful followers of Christ.  In doing this, you can rest assured you will be equipped to teach your children the fear of God and defeat all negative cultural influences that exist.  We must be earnest about the souls of our children and learn from the wisdom of God written a long time ago, (Deut. 10:12-13).  We, as Christian and godly parents, must walk worthy of the Gospel if we want our children to obey God.  It is a foundational truth in saving our children.  We cannot expect our children to be faithful to God if we are partially committed to Christ.

When both parents fear God, are devoted, dedicated, and zealous to the Lord and His work, their children most likely will follow their parents' lead successfully.  The church cannot save our children.  Parents are the only ones who can save them with the Lord's help.  No Bible classes and sermons at a church building weekly will influence our children's lives and save them.  Parents must walk the path of righteousness and practice what they teach their children that they may see the way to heaven.  The power of godly example from both parents is vital for them to be saved and go to heaven (Deuteronomy 6:5-9).

Indeed, this Scripture is full of practical wisdom about the godly home that does not forget God.  When one loves God, he will also love His Word.  When it comes to child-rearing, parents must practice what they preach.  There must be a personal example and spiritual teaching and training.  Bible study with their children is a priceless opportunity.

1. Parents must teach their children to love, respect, and obey God supremely. 
2. They must teach them a love for their neighbor.
3.  How to respect and submit to all authority. 
4. They must teach them to humble themselves, exercise self-disciple, and do hard work.
5. How to be gracious and merciful to all.  
6. They must be reminded that God is watching and that they will reap what they sow.  
7. And that they must keep learning and growing in the fear of God.  

These are fundamental and priceless truths that will save our children.  Remember that our primary goal is to teach our children how to walk with God as we are endeavoring to do it also.  Therefore, we must train them well in the way of the Lord.  Please, don't abandon your God-given duty!  Please, teach your children God's riches found in His Word that they might hear and understand it to bear abundant fruit for the Lord (Matt. 13:22-23).

Our children must be precious to us, for they are God's gift to us.  We demonstrate our love to them as we teach them the way of the Lord.  We must apply the golden rule to loving our children (Matt. 7:12).  We must not provoke our children to wrath, for they will become discouraged. We are giving the ultimate responsibility for the training of your children without wrath and discouragement.  We must train our children to save them spiritually.  Under no circumstances, we must abuse our authority.  We must not be oppressive but rather exercise wisdom and discernment.

Godly parenting is shepherding the hearts of our children in the ways of God's wisdom. We must guide not only the behavior of our children but the attitudes of their hearts. We need to teach the wisdom found in the Scriptures to our children. The Bible teaches us that the heart is the control center for life. Their life is merely a reflection of their heart.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life"  (Proverbs 4:23).  

Our children's behavior is merely a reflection of what is taught in their hearts ( Luke 6:45). Let's be sure to humbly ask God’s help to accomplish this critical ministry of shepherding our children’s hearts as fathers and mothers. Their souls are precious!

Loving our children the way God intends demands self-denial, hard labor, example, and God’s principles of righteousness. But if these values are not based on Christ's principles of righteousness but on deceptive philosophies of the world, then we waste our time, and the world has total claim on their souls.  To shepherd our children's hearts the way God has intended, both fathers and mothers need to be involved.  A parent must be at home with their children during the formative years to instruct them in the ways of God.  We must instruct them to walk wisely and righteously in God's Word and principles.  We must take the time to teach them! It is not the church, the government, or the schools' responsibility to do this, but it is our job as parents!


VIII.   TO BE SELF-CONTROL (DISCREET):

Again, in Titus 2:5, Paul instructs older women to teach or admonish the younger women to be discreet or self-controlled.  Older women must train the younger women to cultivate sound judgment and prudence (wisdom, common sense, sound judgment, caution, etc.).  What does it mean to be discreet?  It means to exercise self-restraint, self-control to control all passions and desires. It helps us to be conformed to the mind of Christ.  All Christians are commanded to be sober or have a sound mind.  We must learn to be self-controlled or temperate.  We must make responsible, wise, sane decisions.  What does the Bible tell us about being discreet or self-controlled?

The King James Version uses the words "discreet" and "discretion."  In Genesis 41:33, 39, Joseph is described as a wise and discerning man.  The Book of Proverbs talks a lot about the person who has understanding and listens to wise counsel to increase in learning.  Discretion guards or protects a person while understanding watches over us to deliver us from the way of wickedness.  The Proverbs are full of exhortations about keeping sound wisdom and discretion (Prov. 1:4; 2:11; 3:21-24; 5:2; 11:22; 19:11).

A person of discretion is slow to anger and overlooks a transgression or offense.  The Proverbs speak of the beautiful woman who lacks discretion as a gold ring in a pig's snout.  Our way of thinking and behavior reveals our discretion.  When our ways are God's ways, we keep God's commandments and testimonies diligently (Psalm 110:50).  Elders are commanded to be temperate, that is, be self-controlled (1 Tim. 3:2).  They must have a sober mind to make responsible, sensible, and wise decisions.  The wives must also have this quality.

Discretion must be taught and learned.  Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit.  Against it, there is no law.  Christians must crucify the lack of self-control or discretion (Gal. 5:22-23).  When we set our minds on heavenly things, we can become discreet or self-controlled (Col. 3:2).  So, we must be compelled to learn and put to practice this excellent trait (1 Thes. 5:6, 8; 2 Tim. 1:7; Titus 2:12; 1 Peter 1:13; 4:17; 5:8; 2 Pet. 1:6).

Older women must model proper discretion or self-control and teach it as well to our younger women.  It takes time to develop this excellent trait, but we must have the mind of Christ to please God, not ourselves (Prov. 21:3; Psa. 119:66).  In which areas do you need to be discreet?

IX.   TO BE PURE (CHASTE):

Our theme continues on Titus 2:3-5 about chastity or purity as one of those things older women must teach the younger women.  The word "chaste" means to be consecrated, pure.  Chaste is free from evil, lawlessness.  It is free from defilement.  It does not mix with evil.  They repulse each other.  In the Bible, we find the word chaste three times (2 Cor. 11:2; Tit. 2:5; 1 Pet. 3:2).  God's words are pure (Psa 12:6; 19:8; 110:140 and Prov. 30:5).  The wisdom from above is pure (James 3:17).  All Christians must strive to be pure or chaste.  How?  By studying and meditating in the Word of God.

In Psalm 24:3-5, we read regarding the character of the heart.

"Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?  And who may stand in His holy place?  He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood and has not sworn deceitfully.  He shall receive a blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation."  

The Psalmist poses the question, "Who can stand with God?”  "Who is acceptable to Him?"  This should be a concern to all of us.  When the Psalmist speaks of "clean hands," he is suggesting conduct or behavior. That means we must strive to do the right things to be pleasing to God. This is a necessary standard by which we can determine right from wrong.  Notice that the "pure heart" directs our attention to a clear and uncontaminated motive.  Such a motive is to do it with the right attitude.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus spoke of many qualities that characterize the heart of a true and faithful disciple.  These character traits are commonly known as the "Beatitudes." Keeping the heart and guarding it wisely is not an easy task to achieve on our own.  We definitely need God's help to purify our hearts of what is called SIN. We also need Him to help us with our heart's stubbornness and hardness that sneaks in, darkening its corners.  Only God can give us the wisdom that we need. His counsel is found in His revealed Word, which teaches us how to pursue such purity of heart. But we must seek His wisdom for direction.  This leads me to the following question:

What did our Lord Jesus in Matthew 5:8 mean by the word "heart”?

In the Bible, the word heart is far more than a bodily organ.  The Word of God defines the heart as that part of a man that can believe, understand, desire, purpose, feel, plan, and will.  The mind is that part in us that combines all these qualities as they are found in the intellect, the emotions, and the will. Our intellect contains all the facts of knowledge we have acquired. The emotions include all our feelings and desires. The will is the power to convert our wishes into deeds. When Jesus in this "beatitude" said, "Blessed are the pure in mind,"  He meant "Happy are the pure in heart." Hence, purity of heart and happiness go hand in hand.  No one can be truly happy with an impure heart.

Notice what Jesus said about an impure heart.

"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. These are the things which defile the man"  (Matthew 15:10-20).  

The apostle Paul added, saying, 

"With the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness"  (Romans 10:10).  

Also, Jesus rebuked the Jews because of their hardness of heart, saying,

"For the heart of this people has become dull.  With their ears they scarcely hear, and they have closed their eyes, otherwise they would see with their eyes,  hear with their ears, and understand with their heart and return, and I would heal them"  (Matthew 13:15).

• So how can we keep a pure heart?  

Regardless of our lack of ability to provide the means for a pure heart, God does call us to live a pure life through obedience to His will.

"This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart"  (Ephesians 4:17-18)

We must live and walk with understanding, discerning between right and wrong, in newness of life, as those who have a new and pure heart.  This inward purity of heart does not conform to the standards of the world. 

• How Can I Have Pure Thoughts, Intentions, and Motivations?

• The Influence of the Word of God:   

The Word of God is crystal clear about what we must think on and digest. We must let the Word of God enter our hearts and allow it to influence, change, and transform us.  We must live up to God's standards!  We must live in accord with our new and pure heart.  We must remove our impurities. We must let the Word of God remove the callouses of our hearts.  We must be pure in heart and mind.  We must rid ourselves of impurity and be filled with His living water.   As those who once mourned our past sins and repented, we must cease to practice lawlessness and choose to walk in righteousness.   

To have and keep a pure heart, we must spend time in studying HisWord.  Our Hearts are changed when we pray and meditate on God's Word, His Law.  In Ephesians 4:20-21, The Ephesians were exhorted to no longer walk as the Gentiles did.  Paul inspired by the Holy Spirit said,

"If indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth."  

Let us take heed to these words!  There is no other WAY to purify our hearts from all lawlessness!

Knowing Christ requires a pure heart.  It leads one to put to death the flesh, our old manner or conduct of life, with all its lawlessness to walk in the Spirit. 

"But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." Ephesians 4:20-24  

The Law of Christ, can transform, change, and turn our hearts away from our old manner of life.  It leads us to righteousness and holiness.  The process of putting off the old self and putting on the new self in the likeness of God is not a simple one.  It demands effort, submission, obedience, death to self, willingness, and a love for God's Truth.  A pure heart loves righteousness.

Although God purifies our hearts when we obey His Gospel, we must keep purifying it, hating all evil, and refusing to have fellowship with the kingdom of darkness.  It is a long-term commitment!  It does not stop in the waters of baptism.  Our purification must continue fervently until the day we die.  God's Grace can transform our heart and mind.  Repentance is a change of heart.  It is the main focus of God's message and Law.  The pure heart, the changed one, never resists repentance and confession of sins.

When we seek God's face through His Word and pray, we are able to turn our hearts away from all evil conduct.    So, to have a pure heart, we must spend time meditating on His Word.  In Psalm 119:9-12, we find a beautiful exhortation concerning the pure heart. 

"How can a young man keep his way pure?  By keeping it according to Your word.  With all my heart I have sought You; Do not let me wander from Your commandments.  Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You.  Blessed are You, O Lord; Teach me Your statutes."

Keeping a pure heart demands self-discipline (1 Peter 1:13-15).  When Jesus said, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God," He meant that those with a pure heart would acknowledge Him and enjoy Him.  They will enjoy Him and walk with Him hand in hand like good and close friends.  Our friendship, fellowship, relationship, and our understanding of God's ways and thoughts depend on our purity of heart.

The pure in heart is seen by:

1. The way he lives.  "So as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God"  (I Peter 4:2).
2. Jesus points out that what comes out of a person’s heart is what defiles him. 

"There is nothing outside the man which can defile him if it goes into him; but the things which proceed out of the man are what defile the man."  Mark 7:15    

"That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness.  All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man."  Mark 7:20-23

Thus being chaste or keeping oneself pure must be something that we do daily.  The world must see our light shining brightly because of our purity or chastity.  We must demonstrate our chastity or purity in our conduct.  Chastity or purity is the product of what is in our heart (Matt. 15:18-19).  To go to heaven, we must be presented as "a chaste virgin to Christ" (2 Cor. 11:2; Rev. 21:27).


X.  WORKING AT HOME (HOMEMAKERS):

Older women are commanded to teach the younger women to be homemakers (Titus 2:5).  The King James Version uses the phrase "keepers at home."  The New American Standard Version says, "workers at home."  The ESV translates it as "working at home."  The woman is commanded to keep or watch the home.

• Workers (keepers) at Home: 

• What Exactly is a "Worker at Home?"  

In the Greek, "worker at home" is oikourgos which comes from two root words, oikos and ergon.  Oikos, which means "a dwelling, a home, or household."  Ergon, which means "to work or be employed."  Therefore, a "worker at home" is someone who watches over the dwelling or is a keeper of the household.  She is employed in household work. That is her job.  "Workers at home" also means to be on guard, to be a caretaker.  The home is the seat of domestic life, the bearing, and raising of children, forming a family.  It is evident, for the most part, that the younger women would have to be at home to accomplish this goal admirably.  In modern times, younger women are encouraged to get a “higher education” and pursue their careers after which they marry and begin a family as they approach middle-age.  This is contrary to the Divine Counsel!

"Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach."  I Timothy 5:14-15

The Greek word for "keep house" is oikodespoteo, which literally means to "rule or guide the house."  In I Timothy 5:14-15, we find an analogous (similar) illustration to the "worker or keeper at home." The younger widows are given the command in this text in verse 14.  The intent of this text is to keep the widow out of trouble, protecting her reputation.  Her main job is to run her household in a manner that is pleasing to God and stay out of trouble.  A young mother's place is in the home, keeping it, guarding it, watching over those whom God has entrusted to her keeping.  To do otherwise will indeed cause the Word of God to be blasphemed.  This is serious!  Let us not deceive ourselves into thinking that we can disobey God without any ill consequences.  Judgment will assuredly come.  The Word of God is true and right.  If we ignore it, His written words in Scripture, we are blaspheming, speaking evil of His Words.

According to God's Word, to be "keepers at home" is one of the eight mandates in Titus 2:4-5.  It is not a suggestion!  It is God's will for wives!  "Keeping the home" is more than staying at home. It is having the right kind of heart that is fixed only on the home.  The “help meet” is the one that guards the home against outside influences.  She is always on the watch to protect her children from all evil.  She is not idle, and neither will her children be idle.  She eases her husband's heavy load by helping him in any way she can.  She is frugal in all her endeavors.  She teaches her children to fear and serve the LORD.  She also teaches her children to honor and love their daddy.  She keeps and makes her home a sanctuary of peace, love, and order.  She maintains the safety of her children, even as God provides a refuge for us, His children.  She takes her responsibility seriously!

• Homemaking is a Challenging, Demanding, Divine, Worthy, Bountiful, and Rewarding  Profession:

Any career or professional pursuit demands training, preparation, commitment, and dedication over the long run.  It demands constant activity and progressive achievement.  It is a combination of training and preparation, commitment and loyalty, energy and time, excellence, and achievement.  Finding an efficient and capable person who is professionally suitable in many and different careers simultaneously is rare indeed.  Do we want our family physician to be our policeman and mailman as well?  I doubt it!  Why?  Because we would want him to specialize and sharpen his skills and expertise in medicine.  Yet many doctors can type and counsel a troubled patient.  Though there is a diversity of opportunities within most careers, it is vital not to neglect the priority responsibility.  Homemaking is a career or profession.  The dictionary defines the homemaker as "one who manages a household, especially a wife and mother." The household is composed of the children, human beings, the everlasting souls that God gives to a home.

Homemaking is essential enough to demand a woman's diligent preparation, her highest commitment, fullest energy, and most excellent creativity.  A homemaker does her job without the enticement of a paycheck. She does it for the love of her babies and her husband.  No amount of money can duplicate a homemaker, for she is worth far more than rubies (Prov. 31:10)!  Homemaking is not employment for slothful, uninspired, incapable women.  Homemaking has as much challenge and opportunity for success and failure, growth and expansion, benefits, and incentives as any other corporate career.  

Being a homemaker is a God-given role for women.  Our God-given time must be spent in our role as homemakers.  We must never despise it or look down on our God-given role. Keeping the home is one of God's most divine assignments to the wife.  Even down to changing the sheets, doing laundry, and scrubbing the floors.  In Titus 2:3-5, Paul exhorts the older women to teach the younger women "to love their husbands and children... to be busy at home" (oikourgous, Greek, literally, "homemakers").  The home is a place apart, a walled garden in which many virtues can be preserved without being easily crushed by modern life.  The mother in her home is the angel in residence.  The home and family must be more important than the possessions of material goods.

Living in a feminist culture, few women realize what excellent service they are doing for mankind and for the kingdom of Christ when they provide a shelter for the family and good nourishing (mothering).  It is the main foundation on which all else is built.  A mother can build something that is far more magnificent than any cathedral.  She can build a dwelling place for immortal souls (her child's earthly tabernacle and earthly abode).  No professional pursuit can so uniquely combine the most menial tasks with the most meaningful opportunities!

The Book of Proverbs is the most practical book in the Bible.  It is saturated with home and family and their relationships within.  Proverbs 31:10-31 overflows with personal and domestic energy and efficiency in the managing or keeping of the home (Titus 2:5; 1 Timothy 2:10; 5:14).  In Luke 10:38-48, when Jesus rebuked Martha, He did not condemn the vital work she was doing, nor did He decry her gracious hospitality extended to Him.  Jesus pointed to the one thing Martha had omitted, the one needful thing.  He urged Martha not to be so burdened by her work and that she neglect the spiritual sustenance which Mary so faithfully sought.  We must never ignore or neglect God's heavenly things, His kingdom of righteousness over the joy of serving others.

• Finding Joy as Mothers, Homemakers, And Wives:

Can we find joy in our work as mothers, homemakers, and wives?  YES!  But the heart must be in it. We cannot find this joy if we are absorbed in self, looking for an easier way to enter the gates of heaven without any doing from our part.  So often, our poor and selfish choices rob us of God's many blessings.  Why?  Simply because we want to avoid the responsibility that comes with those blessings such as our homes, our children, and husbands.

The best way to make homemaking a joyful task is to do it as a service unto the Lord. The only way to avoid the drudgery in such mundane tasks is to pray to God to catch the vision of this divine challenge of making and nurturing the home.  Running a home and caring for the family demands a lot of time.  Having a career is much easier than being a homemaker!  I assure you of that!  It is a 24-hour profession.

1. It demands a variety of skills and abilities.  
2. It requires physical work, preparation, and care.  
3. It demands devotion and heroic service. 

But it is worth it all!  And we must accept and embrace our God-given role and assignments.  God's ideal woman is of great worth.  Her worth cannot be fixed or estimated, for it is far more than rubies.  God's ideal woman is a valuable helper to her husband.  Her husband trusts her ability in the managing of her home.  She is a woman of strength and a source of pride for her husband and children.  Her complete management of the home frees her husband to do and concentrate on his labors.  She meets the needs of her family in the most possible way.  And she does it with joy!

• Raising and Teaching Our Daughters to be Homemakers:

Today we live in a culture where homemaking and parenting are overwhelming. Why?  Because we have raised generations of women whose hands are not skilled or equipped.  Many don't know where to start when it comes to homemaking, because the last few generations have dropped the ball!  They demanded that we "go out and find ourselves, be all you can be, pursue your dreams and ambitions,"  and "get your Masters, Ph.D."  Some have more degrees than a thermometer!  They say, "Become independent and self-sufficient so that you can have a more comfortable life and not have to do the "menial" work of home." 

For years,  they have lied to us (they lied to me!) about our God's divine design for us, for the home.   Although I was raised by a great homemaker, wife, and mother, my mother looked down on the skilled laborer, the homemaker.  Parents somehow have been brainwashed by feminism into thinking that raising our daughters to pursue just marriage and a family as their only career is demeaning.  We believe that if we don't encourage our daughters to become professionals and independent women, somehow we have failed; that if we don't send them to college to get a degree, we have failed.  According to whose standards have we failed?  To our culture, society, or to God?  Our culture, of course, but not according to God!

Hence, a virtuous woman or god-fearing woman is busy in the affairs of her home.  She is diligent in the care of her family as well as others.  She takes time to be spiritual-minded.  She is not lazy, selfish but is loving, giving, and kind to everybody.  And though she is busy taking care of her family, she always finds time to do work for others.  She is blessed and praised because of her good works (Prov. 31:10-31).  No matter how busy she might be, she always has time for her spiritual needs.  Because she is a godfearing, virtuous woman, her price is far above rubies (Prov. 31:10-31).  So, who can find an excellent wife?  What is an excellent wife?  How can one recognize her?  What is she like?  What does she do?  Proverbs 31:10-31 provides us all the answers to these questions.

Throughout Proverbs 31 verses 10-31, God describes for us twenty traits of what an excellent wife is.  As Christian women who profess godliness, we must strive to develop these qualities or excellencies to glorify God and reflect His glory. 

• Trusted.
• Respectful to her husband.
• Of exceptional worth.
• Good to her husband.
• Generous.
• Wise.
• A diligent worker with her hands.
• Not afraid.
• Praised.
• Careful.
• Blessed by her children. 
• Fears the LORD.
• Kind.

What a glorious reflection of God's glory!  When a woman starts to develop these excellent traits in her life because she fears the LORD, she starts blooming into a godly, excellent wife.  Her life begins to glorify God through her attitudes and actions.  It is life as a beautiful flower which reflects the glory of God's creation in the light of the morning sun.


XI.  KIND (GOOD):

Older women are instructed to teach the young women to be kind.  God is our best example of kindness and mercy. God is our most excellent example of goodness (kindness).  Abigal is an excellent example of kindness.  She was an exceptional woman of understanding (1 Samuel 25).  Even when things don't appear to be going as they should, we can still be kind or good.  The excellent wife of Proverbs 31 does her husband good all the time (Prov. 31:12).  A good or kind person brings forth good things (Matt. 12:35).  The heart reflects our goodness or kindness.

The Parable of the Samaritan recorded in Luke 10:25-35 is an excellent example of goodness or kindness.  He had compassion. He took the time to help this wounded man.

"He bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?' 37 He said, 'The one who showed him mercy.' And Jesus said to him, 'You go, and do likewise.'"  

We Christians must be rich in good works, be generous, kind, merciful, and ready to share, storing up for ourselves good treasures in heaven.

The Bible is full of examples of goodness and kindness.  We are commanded to do good to all, especially those of the household of faith. Our good works will lead us to heaven.

"For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil" (2 Cor. 5:10).

The older women must teach the younger women to be kind. It involves kindness in general.  Isn't it interesting that the word “kind” is sandwiched between being a worker of the home and being submissive to their husbands!  Kindness is described in the way she runs and cares for the home, her family. It means that she must not complain and be bitter about her God-ordained role as the manager of her home.  When a wife resents her role as ordained by God, she will take it out on her family.  That is terrible!  She must have joy and kindness in her role as the manager of her home!


XII.   SUBMISSIVE (OBEDIENT) TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS:

Women are commanded to be submissive or obedient to their own husbands.  Obedience is being submissive or hearkening.  It also means to set in order under.  Clearly, we can see God's order shown in 1 Cor. 11:3.

"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."  

God set this divine order back in Genesis 3:16.  Obedience is a command.  Paul commands all women to be submissive or obedient to their own husbands.

The word "submission" is found in the Bible several times, but sadly many ignore it.  But if a woman is committed to honoring her Lord and living a righteous life to the glory of God, she must be humble enough to accept with a humble heart what God demands of her in life and marriage and about His plan for everything. You see, when we approach the Bible as God's ultimate authority, we will be humble enough to understand and apply it in our lives.  God's Word must not be interpreted based on our feelings but instead on what God has declared in His Word without twisting it to suit our needs and our emotions whatever they might be.  May we accept God's Truth on what He calls submission.

May we women of God search our hearts and open them to the riches of God's Truth to change the attitudes of our hearts.  May we be more open to applying God's principles of righteousness to show honor and respect to our husbands.  May we look within our own marriages and families and make the necessary changes in our relationship with our husbands and, most importantly, our God after this lesson is over.  And while every marriage is different in that some are built on a strong Biblical foundation and godly principles, there are other relationships where that is not the case.  Sadly, some husbands treat their wives poorly, abusing their responsibility, and the role that God has given them toward their wives both emotionally and physically.  

• What Does the Bible Say About Submission?

In today's feminist culture, the word "submission" has a bad reputation.  When our rebellious society hears "wives submit to your husband," they immediately get annoyed.  They tell us that submission to a man is demeaning.  They say it is a weakness.  They are in rebellion.  But against whom are they rebelling?  Many women and even some of my sisters in Christ have headship upside down.  Just like the world, they seem to forget their obligation to submit to their husbands and respect their decisions.  Moreover, some husbands demand submission from their wives in obedience to the Lord but do not love their wives as God commands, nor do they model faithfulness or devotion to the Lord.  They demand sacrifice when they themselves will not sacrifice.  

I would like to start with the famous words of Ephesians 5:21-33.

"Subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ.  22 Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; 26 that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, 27 that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: 29 for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; 30 because we are members of his body. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church. 33 Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband."  

Our text emphasizes the "submission" of wives to their husbands and the "love" of husbands toward their wives.  The roles of men and women are evident in the Scriptures from the very beginning of Creation.  It is not a small thing that the apostle Paul inspired by the Holy Spirit reinforced the role and relationship of husbands with wives by portraying their submission as parallel to the relationship of Jesus with His church.  Can we really submit to God's authority and ignore His demands as found in His Word in the matter of our relationship as husband and wife?  Can we really ignore what the Word of God commands us to do about submission?  Is it possible that submission might bring peace to our home?  Wives must submit to their husbands as unto the Lord.  That is, we must submit to our husbands because God commands it!  God wants us to treat others the way He does, and that includes our husbands. He commands that we treat our husbands with honor, selflessness, support, and respect.  So we must do as God commands, stepping back and letting our husbands take the lead.  God demands that we serve Him in the roles in which He has placed us as wives and mothers, for that is His divine order.

• What Submission Means: 

True submission is the inner quality of gentleness that affirms the leadership of the husband.  The expression "Be submissive to your husbands" means that a wife will willingly submit to her husband's authority and leadership in the marriage relationship.  Submission chooses to affirm one's husband as leader within the limits of obedience to Christ.  In involves a demeanor that wants to honor him as the leader even when the wife disagrees.  It is an attitude that goes much deeper than mere obedience, for it is a wife's willingness to obey her husband's authority (verses 5-6) as commanded.  The apostle Peter illustrates a wife being submissive to her own husband by using the example of Sarah, "who obeyed Abraham."  He shows that obedience (hypakouo) is the reason why Sarah was submissive (hupotasso, the same word used in verse 1).  This kind of submission is a respectful affirmation, for Sarah obeyed Abraham "and called him lord" (master, verse 6).

Submission is the beauty that accompanies it.  It is the beauty of "a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (verse 4).  The adjective gentle (praus) only occurs three other times in the New Testament, twice referring to Christ (Matt. 11:29; 21:5; 5:5).  Its related noun is translated "gentleness" or "meekness," and is used more frequently (Gal. 5:23; 6:1; James  3:13, etc.).  

A gentle and quiet spirit does not insist on one's own rights.  It is not pushy and selfishly assertive.  It is not demanding of one's own way.  Such a gentle and quiet spirit is beautiful before others to see, even unbelieving husbands (verses 1-2).  It is of great worth in God's sight.  Why?  Because such a spirit is the product of quiet and continual trust in God to supply one's needs.  God delights when we trust Him (cf. 1 Peter 1:5, 7-9, 21; 2:6-7. 23: 5:7).

Submission is accompanied by the inward attitudes of the heart.  A woman's source of beauty must be the inner self, her heart (verse 4).  It is her inward personality.  Though it is not visible in itself, it is made known by her words and actions that reveal her inner attitudes, her heart.  The word "unfading" is the Greek adjective "aphartos" that the New Testament always uses to speak of heavenly things, truths which are not subject to aging or decay.  It is those things that will not fade away with the passing of this present world.  A gentle and quiet spirit is beauty that lasts for eternity, in contrast to the fleeting beauty of jewelry or clothing, the external beauty!  

• Submission Involves Obedience Like Sarah's:

Living in a world where feminism rules, many have attempted to disregard the instruction given to wives to imitate Sarah's obedience to Abraham, which Peter uses as an example of the "holy women of the past who put their hope in God" (verse 5).  Peter uses Sarah as a positive example to show what women must do, that is, to behave like Sarah, who "obeyed Abraham" (verse 6).  The apostle Peter used the examples of the lives of holy women who hoped in God to illustrate the concept of submission.  Although he specifically mentioned Sarah in verse 6 of 1 Peter 3, the plural "women" refers to godfearing, godly women generally in the Old Testament.

Holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves "in this way," or "so" (houtos, "thus," referring to adorning with a gentle and quiet spirit).  The word "adorn" (kosmeo) is the verb related to the noun "adorning" in verse 3.  Its perfect tense indicates continuing or repeated action over time in the past, "they were repeatedly or continually adorning themselves" in this way.  "They were submissive to their husbands" or "By submitting to their husbands" (ESV) (verse 5) brings us back to the theme of verses 1-2 to indicate the relationship between such submission and the inward beauty of verses 3-4.  A woman's quiet confidence in God produces the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.  It also enables her to submit to her husband's authority without fear that it will be harmful to her well-being or her personhood.

From the beginning, God's intention was for women to submit to male leadership in the home as well as in the church.  But God also intended for men to lead their wives with love, honor, and respect, putting her needs above his own since she is the weaker vessel.  Submission and the fear of God go hand in hand.  The fear of God is central to submission and is its most important principle.  Submission will yield voluntarily in love.  

Peter uses Sarah's submission to her husband, Abraham, as an example of such submissiveness to a husband.  Wives are commanded to be submissive to their husbands (verse 5) as Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, calling him her master or "lord."  Sarah's example of obedience was, and still is our motivator to follow, for Sarah became the mother of all God's children in the Old Testament (Isaiah 51:2; cf. Galatians 4:22-26), even though there were times in which her following Abraham meant trusting God in uncertain, unpleasant and even dangerous situations (Genesis 12:1, 5, 10:15; 13:1; 20:2-6 [c.f. verse 12]; 22:3).  Yet, Peter commends Sarah saying that all believing Christian women are now her children or "daughters," the true members of her spiritual family.  To be Sarah's daughter is to be a joint heir of the promises and the honor given to both her and Abraham.

We are Sarah's daughters if we do what is right and do not give way to fear (verse 6).  Again both verbs are present participles to indicate a pattern of life continued over time.  Peter's insistence on doing what is right is an admonition to Christian wives to not follow or imitate any acts of disobedience in Sarah's life (cf. Gen. 16:2; 6; 18:15; perhaps 20:5).  It is Sarah's submission to her husband and her trust in God that God through Peter commands.  The condition "if you... do not fear anything that is frightening" (ESV) is another way of expressing our faith.  A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit continues hoping in God and is not terrified or frightened by circumstances or by an unbelieving or disobedient husband (cf. Genesis 20:6).

In the marriage relationship, the beauty of a wife's submission to her husband is evident to unbelievers, who are drawn to Christ through it (verses 1-2).  God also expects this beauty to be evident to believing husbands and to other people in general, for such beauty is what God expects Christian women to be their "adorning," their source of beauty (verse 4).  This is the beauty that adorned the holy women of the Old Testament who put their hope in God and were submissive to their own husbands (verse 5).  This beauty must also be seen in a Christian wife, for it is not accompanied by fear (verse 6), but by reverence, purity (verse 2), moral uprightness, godliness, holiness (verse 6), quietness of spirit (verse 4), and hope or trust in God (verse 5).  The beauty of this submission is evident to God, for the gentle and quiet spirit that accompanies this submission is precious and of great worth in God's sight (verse 4).

XIII.   THAT THE WORD OF GOD MAY NOT BE REVILED (BLASPHEMED):

Titus 2:1-5 concludes with the phrase, "that the word of God may not be reviled (blasphemed)."  Why do you suppose Paul instructed Titus to speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine?  Paul gives us the answer to this question in Titus 2:5.  "That the word of God may not be reviled."  To revile or blaspheme is to speak injuriously.  Blasphemy is speech that is defamatory of the Divine Majesty.  The Word of God also uses evil speaking and railing as blasphemy.

In Titus 2, Paul instructs Titus to teach sound doctrine to the brethren in Crete. He begins his instructions with the older men that they “be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance.” The older men must be model examples to the younger men. Their behavior must be sensible, controlled, and reflect soundness in faith, love, and patience such that they are worthy of respect.

Similarly, in verses 3-5 Paul instructs the older women to be “reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

Notice that these instructions or commands to the older women have a similar purpose as to the older men:  to teach the younger and to be godly examples to believers.   The purpose of this is not to slander God's Message (verse 5).

Paul is instructing Titus to urge older women to behave like God's holy people.  Younger women must understand that they must be working toward these godly traits and apply them to their lives so that they can become holy women of God, teaching other younger women when they are older.  Christians women must live in a way that is appropriate for holy women who profess godliness (reverent in behavior).  Holy women (reverent in their behavior) are discrete, for they make life decisions that reflect godliness. They do not speak evil of others (slander).  Holy women control their tongues. Holy women of God are also not under the control of alcohol.

Further, older women must be teachers of good, for God command them. They must teach what is good through their words and actions.  Older women must teach and train the younger women in all aspects of life.  All these things must be done so that the Word of God is not reviled or slandered.  The Word of God is blasphemed or reviled when we disobey it, and we will be judged.

Blasphemy starts in the heart (Matt. 15:19).  God's Word can be blasphemed when we do not do what it is commanded for us in Titus 2:3-5.  By rebelling against God's commands ordained to us as women, we are causing the Word of God to be blasphemed or reviled.  Thus we must start to apply these principles of righteousness of God in our daily lives to not be found guilty of blaspheming the Word of God.  Take heed and repent!  The Word of God must not be blasphemed by our godless and irreverent behavior!

CONCLUSION:

It is my plea to older women, who profess godliness, to speak from God's Word to encourage our younger women to walk in righteousness.  Otherwise, we are just old, lacking in wisdom, professing to believe His Word, but behaving contrary to God's will.  We must first return to the Word of God and guard it in our hearts to have any success and bear much fruit to His glory.  We must model godliness. An excellent place to start would be to model in our own lives how to love our husbands and how to love our children.  Then, of course, we must be discreet and model chastity.  We must demonstrate the art of homemaking as godly women who are obedient to our husbands as to our LORD.

So why don't we see much of this kind of teaching by our older women in the Lord's church?   Why is it that so many of our younger women are stumbling and struggling so badly?   I want to be very honest here.  I think even in our so-called "ladies Bible studies," many of these issues pertaining to Titus 2:3-5 are avoided.  Could it be that we live in a culture that is so desensitized, forgetting, rejecting, and minimizing many of these valuable virtues?   It grieves me greatly to see our Christian women indoctrinated and impacted by this worldly thinking!  I am very disturbed to see that all of the virtues or attributes of Titus 2:3-5 are not wholeheartedly embraced by our young and even our older women!  We have really been corrupted and brainwashed by our feminist culture!  No wonder our younger women are struggling and stumbling so much!

The job and responsibility of teaching and training our younger women by no means was given to men.  It is given to us!  We must take this job very seriously with fear and trembling.  Are you?  I hope you are!  We have an enormous and serious job to do!  Do you not know that when we fail to heartily take this heavy responsibility, we are the ones to be blamed for the decline in our own churches as well as the nation?!  We, as women, who profess godliness, have a tremendous power to turn and change things for the glory of God and His church. We must take this calling very seriously!  We must teach what we believe in, the Word of God, to help shape the next generation!

If our standard is not the Word of God, we are partners with Satan.  Why do you think Satan approached Eve and not Adam?   The serious job of Titus 2:3-5 was given to us, women, and not the men.   Do you want to be judged by God?

"It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God."  Hebrews 10:31 

Are you shaking and trembling?  I am!  My question is:  How and what are we teaching our younger women?   What is it that we are passing down woman to woman in our churches and our culture?  God's Word demands that we teach and train our younger women.  Our most important goal, as women who profess godliness, is to help our daughters, as well as our younger women, to build them up for the glory of our Lord and His kingdom.  Let this sink deeply into your hearts!

Lest we forget, we older women must know better!  Lest we forget, we have the Bible to share and to teach the young women all these things.  So, why are we not teaching them all the will of God?!  Sadly I have heard older women complain about our younger women not being teachable.  Are we, older women,  going to be afraid and intimidated by this?  I hope not!  I am very aware that it is a very uncomfortable burden to have to confront what is wrong,  especially when these efforts are not welcomed.  It is no fun being the "bad guy," the one who admonishes, but it is a command from the Lord!  Remember Proverbs 27:6.

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."

We, older women, must be careful to live out our lives in an exemplary, reverent way in Christ, the way we must do.  Unfortunately, we live in a godless culture that worships youth and physical perfection. This godless way of thinking is affecting our older women! They seem to be forgetting what Proverbs 31:30 says about charm and beauty.  Both are vain and deceitful!  BUT a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

So, why is it then that so many are rejecting the older woman "status" clinging vainly to an overripe youth?!  Why are we offering our younger women only confusion and disillusionment? Lest we forget, we must not love the world, nor the things in the world. 

"Do not love the world, nor the things in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him"  I John 2:15-17.   

Sadly, many older and younger women have bought Satan's lies of "feminism" and have openly rejected the blessing that is found in marriage and in having children.  I am so ashamed when I hear older women encouraging our younger women not to marry and have children!  They say, "accomplish your career goals and delay your family until you realize your dreams."  What a shame!   No wonder there has been a noticeable decline in our churches and in our culture in the way we view family, home, and children. Amazing!

Older women, let us take to heart the exhortation given to us.

"To be reverent, not malicious gossips, not enslaved to wine, and teachers of what is good."  

My hope is that we have already modeled these good things in our lives before we start teaching our younger women.  Remember, this is not optional.  It is a command!   

"And I will vindicate the holiness of My great name which has been profaned...Then the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Lord God, when I  prove Myself holy among you in their sight."  Ezekiel 36:23

With all this heavy responsibility on our shoulders, as older women who profess godliness, let's be very careful, whatever stage of life we are in since we must be teachers to our younger women. Let's not be stumbling blocks, but exemplary role models.  Let's embrace Truth and start being faithful to God! Let's get busy, obey God's Word, and start teaching our younger women how to be godly.  Of course, it will demand living out a godly and holy life.  Are you willing to do His will?  

"Instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age"  Titus 2:12

May our Lord help us to be careful, to live godly and righteously so that we may not cause our younger women to stumble.


Luci